If I could major in procrastination, I’d probably have a PhD, but the more I thought about it, I realized I’d probably procrastinate in procrastinating and fail the course itself. This isn’t exactly helpful when exam season rolls around, and even now, I procrastinated all day instead of studying trying to figure out what I could do to procrastinate.
And here I am. Here are 15 signs of Procrastinationis Syndrome:
1. Plan your birthday, even though it’s eight months away.
2. Cleaning your room. Your house. Your closet. Anything that needs cleaning. Rewashing the dishes, if you must.
3. Cooking, even though you never cook for yourself. Or others. Or cook in general.
4. Remembering that not-so-important errand that’s all-of-a-sudden-extremely-important and you must take care of it, immediately! After eating the chocolate cake with delicate frosting and design that you just made, of course.
5. Doing research on something that is necessary to your knowledge at this point and very moment in life.
6. Grocery shopping because your fridge needs some serious stockage.
7. Sleep. Lord knows ya need it.
8. Watch TV. If you don’t have a TV, you will plug in your HDMI cable and catch up on Game of Thrones and rewatch the last season just because you don’t want to miss anything vital. If neither, YouTube has the answer. Always.
9. Go for a walk because you missed your workout last week. And the week before that. And the week before that..
10. Read a book because that’s the right thing to do. It’s a form of learning and your parents always wanted you to do it.
11. Finally get 20 on Flappy Bird.
12. Contemplate about life and all the philosophical questions you have ever had about the universe.
13. Catch up with an old friend to talk about meaningless things because you just MISS THEM. SO MUCH.
14. Dress up by yourself and do a runway show on your carpet, taking selfies pretending to be your own paparazzi.
15. Procrastinating by writing an article on procrastination and finding useless words and information so you can procrastinate as much as possible and then spend the next twenty minutes finding the right gifs to describe the weird things you do on your “free time” without making it seem like you’re actually the only one with issues…………
You should probably start studying now. Enough is enough. Srsly.
I should too, right? I will, I swear. After this one last episode…
– Shar @sriffa_xo